And its back again

The mood swings of Anirudh is what I'm talking about. Remember this post - http://anirudh-nishka.blogspot.in/2007/06/crying-stubborn-and-defiant-child.html and this - http://anirudh-nishka.blogspot.in/2009/11/who-wants-to-be-boy.html and ? Almost everything with some addition and some subtraction is back. Everything I tell him to do or not do is responded with a big smirk. Or with an irritated "Achha theek hai na...!!!" He blatantly walks away, completely ignoring what me or hubby are telling him. It has been going on for a little more than a week. So after I had had enough yesterday I told him if whatever Mumma says or does irritates him so much I will not say anything to him. And even at that he got so angry and emotional saying "You don't want to be my mumma....theek hai...jayo..mat bano meri mumma!" And I'm left totally flabbergasted and confused at his reaction.

Kuch karo to problem...kuch nahi karo to bhi problem. I let it go at that moment. And rather for the entire day. I broached it again at night time when he was in bed and I slipped next to him and cuddled with him. And then I asked why is he so irritated and angry all the time? Is something bothering him? Something at school? Or otherwise? But he said he doesn't know himself. I  asked him to think over again and again he said he really doesn't know. I just hugged him tight and said he should talk to mumma if anything is bothering him or to share anything that he would like to. And at that he just snuggled in further closer to me and dozed off within seconds. And today morning the first thing he told me was "Aapse cuddle karke sone mein bahut mazaa aaya." And I just smiled.

I know he is adjusting a lot with me being busy with Nishka when I'm home. I also know he needs me to spend time with him but he doesn't say so because he himself wants me to take care of Nishka..his adorable, cutie sister. He just loves her to bits. I did try to spend more time with him over the weekend. We did go for our morning walk on Saturday but in Sunday he just didn't budge. I tried to reason with him and make him understand about him watching too much TV or playing games on Wii or on the laptop. He simply tells me "I know ..." and continues with it.

But seeing him in a happy mood today morning, I'm hoping for better days ahead.

Coming to Nishka and him, yesterday when he was reading his book and Nishka was lying close to him, she started to grab the book from his hands. And when I was trying to stop her, Betu tells me "Karne do na usko. Main usko mana kar doonga agar zyaada pareshaan karegi." I just smiled and started to click a few pictures. Here is one

And I left them together to make breakfast feeling happy and so contented.

Who wants to be a 'good' boy?

Definitely not him.Yes, I'm talking about Betu here. He is in a very difficult stage right now. And I would definitely call it "early teens" . The defiance. The anger. "I just don't want to listen to you" phase. Bad behavior. Not talking to other/elders properly.

Yes..that's Betu. I'm surprised too. He wasn't like that 2 months ago.

Yesterday he told me in very clear words that he doesn't want to be a good boy. He wants to do all the bad things and that I can go ahead and punish him. In fact he wanted me to punish him.When I asked him why should I punish him he said because he has done a bad thing. On further asking if he thinks doing bad thing is right or wrong, he replied, its right thing. So when I reasoned with him that if he thinks its the right thing to do then why should I punish him. He responded that because he thinks its right but I think its wrong, that's why I should punish him.

I just didn't know what to say or do. I just moved away from him.

I've no clue what is leading to all this behavior change. One reason that I can think of is me not being able to spend enough time with him. Office has been too hectic and he is demanding attention by doing things which make me angry.

Betu, I just want to tell you that Mumma loves you and will do the best to spend more and more time with you. And that I don't want you to be a good boy all the time too. Just be yourself and be happy. I know you are not not happy too when you are upset and angry.

You are my jaan!

"I can't hear you" mode

This is the mode that Anirudh has been in since the past month. Or is it "I don't want to listen to you" mode? Whatever it may be but it irritates the hell out of me and hubby. I guess more for me coz I'm the one who deals with him most of the time.

You keep telling him something and repeat it over and over again and he will just turn a deaf ear to you. And when you yell at him, the tears will start rolling and the most pleading and emotional "sorry mumma" is voiced. Trust me it takes lot of will to not melt down on hearing him saying such "sorry".

I know its a trick these kids play on us. The emotional fool trick. And we always almost fall for it.

He has been demanding us to buy him a new toy almost every other day. And out come major tantrums if we say "no" or say "We just bought you a toy on so and so day". We have started ignoring him and sometimes it works and he quietens down and sometimes it goes on for hours and at times he gets a whack from me.

Someone please tell me its a phase!!

Testing my patience

Lately Anirudh has been testing our patience every single day! And when I say lately I mean 2-3 weeks. Its not just me, its hubby who also has the same story to tell. We just do not know what has come over him or what has changed and why is he behaving like this!

Morning start with tantrum and wailing and crying and however hard I try to reason with him, it just does not work! And eventually I end up slapping him which results in both of us, betu an me, getting upset as to why I slapped him. I know I need to be more patient but when this same pattern is being repeated day after day, it just gets to me.

And when you pick him up from the daycare, the same thing repeats. Tantrums and wailing and crying ! One day it will be a demand for a toy, another day for a DVD or for not wanting to go home! And on the way back home, after picking him from his daycare, almost every alternate day I stop at the local grocer to buy milk. And that just gives him an opportunity to demand for those cheese balls or his chocolate biscuits! The moment you say no to him, he will start his nautanki right in the shop and won't stop till you buy him what he is demanding. There are days when I just don't listen to him and he will continue crying and hitting me for hours!

Sigh...so many times I've tried to distract him or tell him why I'm not buying but it JUST DOESN'T WORK!! I'm literally pulling my hair at such occasions!

Every evening when he goes to bed he agrees that he won't repeat this behavior again but then tomorrow is another day! All promises are forgotten and a fresh batch of tantrum start off!

I just hope and pray that this is also a phase and that I figure out soon how to handle him at times like these!