Introducing semi solids with Nishka

Today I introduced banana with milk to Nishka and she loved it instantly. So much so that she wouldn't let me take away my hand away for a refill. She simply lapped it up.

So good to see a new milestone acheived without any fuss :)

And Nishka is born!

I know I'm pretty late in writing this post after you were born. "Better late than never" as the saying goes.

As I opened the blog I saw the last post I had made was just 8 days before your arrival. And all the while we were planning and doing things thinking you would be arriving around your original EDD i.e. Oct 21. Anyone can imagine how un-prepared we were for your early arrival on Sep 30, 2011.

To start the story from the last post when I mentioned I had to go for a blood test to check my hemoglobin, I did go and the result came to be at 10. So no use of getting those iron IVs done. So much pain for nothing...gah!! We had planned to go on the weekend to do some shopping for your arrival but your bhaiyya was running slight temperature so the plans were postponed to the next weekend. Which never materialised as you were already in my arms before the weekend arrived :)

And here is the account from this point onwards:

Sep 26-28, 2011:

I went to work on Monday and Tuesday (Sep 26-27) as usual. Although I was not feeling too great on Tuesday, September 27, however I still went to work. I worked from home on Wednesday (Sep 28) as I was having quite frequent braxton hicks contractions. At least I thought of them as BH but its only on Thursday when we went to meet the doc that we realised that those were actual contractions and not BH. They were painless and sometimes they would happen every 10-15 min. I didn't pay much attention to them as it was kind of similar when Anirudh was in the tummy. Although while chatting with my sister-in-law (Swati), she did mention that her doc has asked her to come immediately to hospital if the contractions were like the ones I was having.

Sep 29, 2011:

I was up from 4 AM and the the uneasiness from previous day continued. I got ready to go to work despite the uneasiness. The contractions were still coming close and I still continued to think they were BH contractions.

My office transport usually comes at 7 AM but that day when it hadn't come till 7:05 AM, I called the driver and he told me he had a flat and would be delayed by 20-25 min. As I was waiting hubby, who always pushes me to go to work, could make out from the face that I was not feeling well. He asked me to take rest today and call office that you wont be coming. So I SMSed my boss about it and lied down and called the driver that I wouldn't be going to work today. After 10 min the contractions became slightly painful and when I told so to hubby, he asked me to call doc. I waited till 8 AM to call the doc and she asked me to come and meet her at the hospital at 10 AM.

Anirudh's autumn break had started that day itself and we dropped him off at Rita bhabhi's place on the way to the hospital. My uneasiness increased as we were driving and I told your papa that something definitely was not right. We reached the hospital sharp at 10 AM and soon after saw the doc rushing in. She examined me first externally and told me that the uterus was indeed quite tight. And then she did an internal examination and figured out that I was 2 cm dilated already. I got a little nervous hearing that. She did some other checkups and asked us to get admitted right away. She also told us that looking at the history of first birth where I had 3rd degree perennial tear, we would have to go for a C-sec. And that she would try to hold the labour through some medicines. And then she spoke at the Labour & Delivery (L&D) department and spoke to them detailing out what needs to be done once I'm admitted and to measure my contractions etc. She asked me not to even walk as that would hasten the labour which she didn't want. She arranged for a wheelchair to take me to the L&D and proceeded for her rounds at the hospital while we waited in the room for the wheelchair to arrive.

My first thought was to call Appa (your Nanu) and I broke down when I told him that we have to get admitted right away and that it would be a c-sec either today or tomorrow. He consoled me and asked me not to worry at all and that all will be fine. But I was nervous. Very nervous. I just wasn't mentally prepared for your arrival this early. We still hadn't bought all your stuff and that made me even more nervous; hadn't washed what we had bought; the house wasn't organised for your arrival, etc etc oh God!! It was such a hurricane going in my head.

The wheelchair arrived 10 min later and as they were wheeling me to L&D, I was feeling so very weird and awkward with people watching me go by. So I tried to shut my eyes so that at least I can't see them looking at me but it felt even more weird like that. Anyhow, reached L&D area. Since the L&D suite was occupied that time, I had to make do with a shared labor room with 3 other females. Gawd!! Those were the most awful 6 hours of my life. With them moaning and groaning and the whole room reeking of pee and blood. Uggh...just thinking of it makes me shudder.

We had to get an ultrasound done after getting admitted and even then they didn't tell me if its a boy or a girl.

The contractions started getting painful by noon. Around 1:00 PM hubby went to the market so that he can do some shopping for the baby. And after shopping he went and washed them along with the clothes that we had sorted out just a fortnight before from the bag that Ruchi had left with us. He also packed Anirudh's suitcase as he was to move to Anamika didi's (hubby's sister) place.

Around 2 PM the contractions were getting quite painful. I could feel the pain at the back and legs besides the pelvic area. After talking to Ashok Mama and to my doc, we came to know that they are trying to delay the delivery until day after i.e. Sep 30 as they have given me a medicine meant for the baby to make the lungs stronger as you were arriving 3 weeks early. Although we really wanted the baby to arrive that day itself as the date was 29th. Reason being Anirudh and I both have the same birth date and thought it would be cool to have your birth date as 29th too. But then we left it for the doc to decide in the best interest of us all and not worry about the date per se.

While hubby was gone shopping in the afternoon I spoke to my in-laws. They were in Bangalore for the arrival of Swati's baby as she was due before me. Spoke to Swati too and to some people at work giving them the update.

By 4 PM the medicines that they had given me to slow down the contractions had worked. And the contractions were lesser now.

After lot of repeated enquiry on the L&D suite I finally was moved into it around 5 PM. And soon after Appa came over and it felt so nice to have him near. And 10-15 min later hubby also came in with the bag of clothes and stuff we would need for the baby and for me. We must have called each other on cellphone at least 50-60 times that day in coordinating the things.

I was hooked to the fetal monitoring machine all through the night and I couldn't sleep much. I was making a log of events in my phone or playing games. I managed to sleep for about 2.5 hrs between 12 AM and 2:45 AM. Although the contractions were not as painful, they were still coming close. The nurse would look at the readings and ask me every time if I'm feeling any pain. And would have an amused look on her face when I would say they are not painful as such but yes I'm feeling uneasy. It was pretty tough just lying on the bed and waiting for all this to quickly get over so that I could hold my precious baby in my arms.

Sep 30, 2011:

Hubby went home for a short trip around 8 AM to bring some stuff that we had forgotten and came back around 10. He helped me take a shower and wash my hair as I had an IV hooked in my hand. Appa also arrived by 10:45 AM. So many people called me to wish me for the surgery and for the easy arrival of the baby.

Around 11 AM the OT team arrived to wheel me in the OT for the c-sec. Lying on the stretcher, passing through corridors and the lifts was giving me goosebumps. My nervousness was increasing as we neared the OT. I tried to be strong but couldn't help the tears from rolling down. Hubby gave me a kiss on the forehead just before entering the OT as he was not allowed inside.

As they were prepping me up I counted the number of people in the room. There were total 12 people. Out of which there were only 1 female nurse and rest all men. And I started crying. My tears just wouldn't stop however hard I tried. Everyone thought I was nervous about the surgery. Which I was but not as much as lying nude with so many men around. I know they are hospital staff and I shouldn't feel so but I couldn't help it. Then the anesthesiologist arrived and I learnt that Ashok mama had spoken to her a while ago. She asked not to worry and to relax. She explained that she would give me two injections in the spine and soon after I wouldn't feel anything waist down. It was such an horrible pain that I felt with the needle going in and it was much worse when she was taking it out. The pain from the first injection was so bad that I didn't even realise when they gave me the second one. I must say it feels so very awful not being able to feel your legs. I tried to twiddle my toes but nothing was happening. It felt so dead down below. I couldn't feel whether my legs were straight or were they were propped up folded at knees. It gives me shivers thinking about it even now.

And then I actually started to shiver. Initially they were mild but later on they became quite bad and they placed two blankets over me and still I was shivering. I was told it was due to the anesthesia given to me.

My doc arrived just after that and soon Ashok mama also arrived. It relaxed me quite a bit to know someone amongst so many strangers.

Since they had put a curtain sorts in front of me I couldn't see what they were doing but I could make out little bit of what was happening from the conversations I was hearing and also from the reflections on the cover of the OT head lamp. It took about 15 min and my baby was out. I heard the doc say "Bitiya hai. Tumhe bitiya hi chahiye thi na?" (You have a daughter. You wanted one daughter right?). And then I heard her cry. And I cried too in happiness :) Mama congratulated me and also SMSed hubby with the news.

They brought the baby to me 5 min later after cleaning up and she had her eyes wide open and she was looking at me. I was so overwhelmed seeing the little bundle in front of my eyes. And thinking "I've a girl!! She is my daughter. MY little baby girl." I was so very happy. I said a few loving words to her before they took her away to take the stats.

Ashok Mama left too at that time while the doc continued to stitch me up. So in about 30-35 minutes we were all done. They wheeled me in the observation center. I was shivering quite badly still and it was such an effort to breathe. They placed oxygen mask on my mouth and I was plugged on a monitoring instrument that was showing my BP, pulse rate and some other readings that I couldn't figure out nor was interested in. When shivering didn't stop even after 10-15 minutes they gave me some medicine for it. The shivering was so bad that the whole bed was shaking. It took another 15 minutes before the shivering started to subside. The nurses kept asking me to sleep and rest but I just couldn't sleep. I could see my BP fluctuating between 50-55 and pulse between 40-50. They told me it would take about 2 to 2.5 hours before the sensation in my legs would start coming in and then only I would be wheeled in to my room.

Hubby came in to meet me and we both kissed each other in happiness. I remember saying "Anu..we have a daughter!" and he smiled and we both had wet eyes.

She weighted 2.39 KGs at birth and measure 43.5 cm in height. We had already thought of a few names for the girl and Nishka was what me and hubby both liked. And thus she was named "Nishka".

You ARE a big brother!!

My paaru Betu.

I was not there to see your reaction when you were told about your baby sister. I met you a day and a half later post the arrival of your little sister. She was actually very little..so very tiny.

When I spoke to you in the evening, the first thing you asked me "Aap kaise ho?" (How are you?) And the second question was when can you come over to meet me at the hospital and to see your little sister. So next day i.e. on Oct 1 2011, we arranged for your Nanu to pick you up from Faridabad from Anamika bua's house.

I could see a big smile plastered on your face all through the time you were with us. You hugged me and after that your eyes were only for your sister. You wanted to hold her all the time. And once she was sleeping in her bassinet, you kept looking at her. And when the time came for you to go back,  you just didn't want to go back. But since we didn't have your clothes you had to go back. But the next day you came with all your luggage from bua's house and stayed at the hospital. Although none of us, including you, slept that night but we all were a happy family. Happy to be together.

You cuddled with me whenever Nishka was sleeping in her bassinet. You were very curious about my surgery and had tonnes of questions to ask. How many stitches? Did it hurt? How much did it hurt? How long did it take? Did Nishka cry? Has she done pee and poop?....gosh..they were never ending.

I don't remember how many times you said "Yeh kitni cute hai". You were totally enamoured with your baby sister.

You were such a helpful boy. At the hospital, you would help me sit up, getting me things, and would also pat my head so that I can sleep. You were and are such a darling little boy. I love you so so much.

36 Weeks

Hi Shona

I complete 36 weeks today and that brings me one more week closer to your arrival date. It excites me as well makes me little anxious. Anxious because I wonder if I'm ready. I'm ready mentally but not at all if you look at the amount of shopping that is still left for you and for me both. However, at the same time I am somehow hoping you will not make me wait till the EDD given by doc and will arrive earlier.

I saw couple of videos of baby births a while ago. Natural birth, C-Sec birth, water birth and even one twin birth by c-sec. And I cried. Cried while watching each video. I don't know why but I did. The moment they would show the baby coming our or being pulled out from the womb I cried. But frankly I think I cried at the c-sec video, when I saw how they cut and pull and tug at the abdomen muscles to take out the baby, because I was scared. Scared of going through a c-sec. I'm praying really hard that I can manage a regular vaginal birth with you with no complications whatsoever. Rest I leave it to destiny.

I've been feeling slightly better these days when it comes to fatigue. But at the same time I feel like an old granny when I've to change positions. For e.g. sitting up from a lying position or standing up if i was sitting so on and so forth. It takes me few moments to get my body to do the desired action. And once I stand up, it again takes a few moments before I can take a step forward. I'm sure you can imagine my current state now :)

And to add to this granny state, couple of days ago while stretching my legs, I got a nerve pull in my left leg at the calf area and its been 3 days and it still hurts to put pressure on that foot when walking. I'm literally limping. It was around 3:15 AM when it happened and I had a real hard time waking your dad to rub the area as I wasn't able to reach it as I was lying down. I teased him how would I manage to wake him when it is time to go to the hospital. He went one step ahead and asked me to keep a bottle of water next to me and pour it over his face in case he doesn't wake up. I had such a laugh hearing this.Your papa can be really funny at times.

I weigh 65 KGs now. I guess I will gain another 1-1.5KGs by the time I deliver which will bring me to the same weight that I was before I delivered your bhaiyya.

I have to get the hemoglobin test done tomorrow and am planning to slightly delay the doc visit next week. Instead of going on Monday am thinking of visiting her on Friday. If I'm feeling normal, I will go on Friday else may visit on Monday itself.

Love you jaan.

(@36 Weeks)

Huh?

Conversation between hubby and betu a while back -

Hubby singing the song "Sweety sweety tera pyaar chahida..."

Betu: Aap kyun yeh gaana ga rahe ho? Aapki to biwi hai. Aapko girlfriend thode hi chahiye. Aapki biwi naraaz ho jayegi agar aap girlfriend le kar aayoge.

Me: *dumbstruck*...at usage of word "Biwi" (wife) and also at his understanding of the fact that either biwi or girlfriend.

Going to be a big brother - 5

The excitement and the wait for your chhotu baby keeps going up and down like waves for you. Like me, you are also getting impatient about babys' arrival and keep asking me why does it take so long for the baby to come out.

In the past month you have been referring to the baby mostly as a girl. As Rakshabandhan was approaching you told me that if the baby is your little sister, I should help her tie Rakhi to you as she would be too small by the time Rakshabandhan comes again next year for her to tie it on your hand on her own.

You wanted to know if the baby will also go to same school as you are going to. And when I affirmed, you went on to tell me that you will take good care of the baby as you will be the big brother. I feel so overwhelmed at your concern about your little baby sibling.

Since you continue to believe that the baby will come out of my navel, as we have not tried to explain you the reality, you try peering through the navel to see inside and take a peek at the baby. And I smile at your innocence. I made you feel baby's hiccups the other day and you started counting them. After a while you suddenly shouted "Bhow Bhow" to imitate a dog barking. Totally surprised, I asked you what was that for. And before you could answer I realised you were trying to use the old age method of getting rid of the hiccups - scare the person who is getting hiccups. And you confirmed my notion but were a little disappointed when the trick didn't work.

Since we usually take us with your for all our doctor appointments, if we go over weekend or your school holiday, you hear everything what doctor is telling us whereas we thought you were totally engrossed in playing on my mobile phone. This became evident when one day your Papa told me about one conversation between you and him. You showed your concern about my low lying placenta and asked your why is it important for placenta to move up. So your Papa explained to you as best he could without going too much into medical details. I guess you understood. So later in the day when you were snuggling with me, you told the baby to kick it and move the placenta up. I get so awed at such a mix of innocence and maturity. I love you my jaan.

Although you don't talk about it often but I can see in some corner of your mind there is angst of being away from me when I stay in hospital after giving birth to the baby. And you either keep asking me the same question as to how many days will I be in the hospital or ask me to confirm if I will be in the hospital for 2 days as I had told you long back. Since you have stayed away from me many a times on your own will lately, I have a feeling its just a temporary anxiety. You will do just fine when the time comes.

Your caring attitude towards me continues and sometimes I feel its growing as the time for the baby's arrival is nearing. Other day I had pain in my wisdom tooth. It was a little late at night and your Papa was already asleep while we both were up reading a book together. You started to massage my jaw from outside to make the pain go away and had a worried look on your face. You kept asking me if you should wake up Papa. But I stopped you from doing so as I had already taken a clove and was hoping for it to relieve the pain soon which it did. However, till the 10-15 min the pain was there, you kept insisting that we should wake up Papa looking at me in so much pain and kept sitting next to me massaging my jaw. What do I say about this love and concern of yours my jaan? Words will never be able to do justice to it. Not even 1%.

And two days ago, on Sunday, I told you I would make pizza at home and you were so excited. And at the same time you told me strictly that I should not over strain myself and take help from Papa. When I told you that Papa has exams coming over and he needs to study and that I will manage on my own, you promptly offered to help me. I gave lots of kisses to you for your thoughts and left it at that. I really didn't think you would remember to help later. But you did. Around 7 PM when you came to the kitchen and saw me chopping vegetables for the pizza, you asked me how you can help me, what are the things that you can do to help. When I tried to send you off by saying thank you for your offer and to go and that I would manage, you told me in a very stern tone that I should listen to you and take your help. You reminded me that I've a baby in my tummy and that I should not exert so much. I hugged you tight, showered lots of kisses and asked you to spread the pizza sauce on the pizza base and then spread veggies and then the cheese over it. You did it all so promptly and did a pretty good job.

When I think back on such moments, I think that I must have done some really really good deeds in the past and then thank God for giving you as my Betu. And I know that these thank yous will never be enough. You are too precious a baby for me. Love you soooooooo much my jaan.

I'm getting a little impatient

As the D-day for our arrival is getting closer, I'm also getting impatient. I so want to hold you, kiss you, cuddle you, see you smile and of course cry too :D

I had my doc appointment yesterday and got to hear your heartbeat. As always it brought a big smile on my face. You are already in a head down position since past 2+ weeks. I asked the doc about your position and she told me that your back is towards my spine. And that explains all the movements that I feel, the nudges of your elbows and hands, the pushing of your knees and legs.

I weighed 64.5 Kg and my BP was slightly on the lower side at 100/50. However, doc was not very concerned.

Since I was having bad side-effects (loose motions to be precise) on oral iron tablets ingestion I had to undergo iron IV infusion last to last week as my Hemoglobin was dropping in every test. So when it reached 10, the doc asked me to get two shots of 200gm of iron done through IV on two alternate days.

On the second and the last day of the IV We had taken a tour of the labour and delivery room as well as the post delivery room in the hospital. We came out satisfied with the cleanliness as well as the hospitable staff. I just hope and pray that the staff is this nice when we are there and need it :)

My food intake keeps varying day to day. There are days when I'm perpetually hungry and there are days when I don't want to eat at all. Those are the days when I eat just because I've too. I despise garam masala in any food item and also zeera. So most of the food is being cooked in mustard seeds. I prefer south Indian cuisine, Chinese and continental stuff more than regular north Indian food. I still don't like to eat sweet stuff. Actually its not that I don't crave for it at all. Eating sweet stuff makes my taste go real bad and I start feeling nauseated. So I intentionally avoid to eat although I may crave for sweet stuff sometimes. Sometimes I give in to some specific mithai and then have to bear the consequences.

Your bhaiyya these days loves to caress you by way of caressing my big tummy. He will lie next to me and keep caressing for few minutes at a stretch and sometimes kisses too.

From the past week, all the newsletter tells me about your growth is that you are getting plumper. That you are gaining fat under your skin. So I guess all the other body growth is complete now and you just have to gain weight. In hte ultrasound at 32 Weeks and 5 days you had weighed 2.1 Kgs. I guess I can safely presume you to be around 2.2 Kgs or a little more currently which is a decent weight. Your bhaiyya at birth was 2.8 Kgs and measured 51 cms. I'm guessing you would also be around the same measurements at your birth.

I prodded the ultrasound doc a lot to find out about your gender but she just didn't tell me as the rules do not allow them to because of the female foeticide rates. So we have to just wait for you to come out in the world to know your gender. Although we all know its immaterial but I can't lie about my curiosity of wanting to know it beforehand. :)

Grow well my bachha.

(@34 Weeks 3 Days)