36 Weeks

Hi Shona

I complete 36 weeks today and that brings me one more week closer to your arrival date. It excites me as well makes me little anxious. Anxious because I wonder if I'm ready. I'm ready mentally but not at all if you look at the amount of shopping that is still left for you and for me both. However, at the same time I am somehow hoping you will not make me wait till the EDD given by doc and will arrive earlier.

I saw couple of videos of baby births a while ago. Natural birth, C-Sec birth, water birth and even one twin birth by c-sec. And I cried. Cried while watching each video. I don't know why but I did. The moment they would show the baby coming our or being pulled out from the womb I cried. But frankly I think I cried at the c-sec video, when I saw how they cut and pull and tug at the abdomen muscles to take out the baby, because I was scared. Scared of going through a c-sec. I'm praying really hard that I can manage a regular vaginal birth with you with no complications whatsoever. Rest I leave it to destiny.

I've been feeling slightly better these days when it comes to fatigue. But at the same time I feel like an old granny when I've to change positions. For e.g. sitting up from a lying position or standing up if i was sitting so on and so forth. It takes me few moments to get my body to do the desired action. And once I stand up, it again takes a few moments before I can take a step forward. I'm sure you can imagine my current state now :)

And to add to this granny state, couple of days ago while stretching my legs, I got a nerve pull in my left leg at the calf area and its been 3 days and it still hurts to put pressure on that foot when walking. I'm literally limping. It was around 3:15 AM when it happened and I had a real hard time waking your dad to rub the area as I wasn't able to reach it as I was lying down. I teased him how would I manage to wake him when it is time to go to the hospital. He went one step ahead and asked me to keep a bottle of water next to me and pour it over his face in case he doesn't wake up. I had such a laugh hearing this.Your papa can be really funny at times.

I weigh 65 KGs now. I guess I will gain another 1-1.5KGs by the time I deliver which will bring me to the same weight that I was before I delivered your bhaiyya.

I have to get the hemoglobin test done tomorrow and am planning to slightly delay the doc visit next week. Instead of going on Monday am thinking of visiting her on Friday. If I'm feeling normal, I will go on Friday else may visit on Monday itself.

Love you jaan.

(@36 Weeks)

Huh?

Conversation between hubby and betu a while back -

Hubby singing the song "Sweety sweety tera pyaar chahida..."

Betu: Aap kyun yeh gaana ga rahe ho? Aapki to biwi hai. Aapko girlfriend thode hi chahiye. Aapki biwi naraaz ho jayegi agar aap girlfriend le kar aayoge.

Me: *dumbstruck*...at usage of word "Biwi" (wife) and also at his understanding of the fact that either biwi or girlfriend.

Going to be a big brother - 5

The excitement and the wait for your chhotu baby keeps going up and down like waves for you. Like me, you are also getting impatient about babys' arrival and keep asking me why does it take so long for the baby to come out.

In the past month you have been referring to the baby mostly as a girl. As Rakshabandhan was approaching you told me that if the baby is your little sister, I should help her tie Rakhi to you as she would be too small by the time Rakshabandhan comes again next year for her to tie it on your hand on her own.

You wanted to know if the baby will also go to same school as you are going to. And when I affirmed, you went on to tell me that you will take good care of the baby as you will be the big brother. I feel so overwhelmed at your concern about your little baby sibling.

Since you continue to believe that the baby will come out of my navel, as we have not tried to explain you the reality, you try peering through the navel to see inside and take a peek at the baby. And I smile at your innocence. I made you feel baby's hiccups the other day and you started counting them. After a while you suddenly shouted "Bhow Bhow" to imitate a dog barking. Totally surprised, I asked you what was that for. And before you could answer I realised you were trying to use the old age method of getting rid of the hiccups - scare the person who is getting hiccups. And you confirmed my notion but were a little disappointed when the trick didn't work.

Since we usually take us with your for all our doctor appointments, if we go over weekend or your school holiday, you hear everything what doctor is telling us whereas we thought you were totally engrossed in playing on my mobile phone. This became evident when one day your Papa told me about one conversation between you and him. You showed your concern about my low lying placenta and asked your why is it important for placenta to move up. So your Papa explained to you as best he could without going too much into medical details. I guess you understood. So later in the day when you were snuggling with me, you told the baby to kick it and move the placenta up. I get so awed at such a mix of innocence and maturity. I love you my jaan.

Although you don't talk about it often but I can see in some corner of your mind there is angst of being away from me when I stay in hospital after giving birth to the baby. And you either keep asking me the same question as to how many days will I be in the hospital or ask me to confirm if I will be in the hospital for 2 days as I had told you long back. Since you have stayed away from me many a times on your own will lately, I have a feeling its just a temporary anxiety. You will do just fine when the time comes.

Your caring attitude towards me continues and sometimes I feel its growing as the time for the baby's arrival is nearing. Other day I had pain in my wisdom tooth. It was a little late at night and your Papa was already asleep while we both were up reading a book together. You started to massage my jaw from outside to make the pain go away and had a worried look on your face. You kept asking me if you should wake up Papa. But I stopped you from doing so as I had already taken a clove and was hoping for it to relieve the pain soon which it did. However, till the 10-15 min the pain was there, you kept insisting that we should wake up Papa looking at me in so much pain and kept sitting next to me massaging my jaw. What do I say about this love and concern of yours my jaan? Words will never be able to do justice to it. Not even 1%.

And two days ago, on Sunday, I told you I would make pizza at home and you were so excited. And at the same time you told me strictly that I should not over strain myself and take help from Papa. When I told you that Papa has exams coming over and he needs to study and that I will manage on my own, you promptly offered to help me. I gave lots of kisses to you for your thoughts and left it at that. I really didn't think you would remember to help later. But you did. Around 7 PM when you came to the kitchen and saw me chopping vegetables for the pizza, you asked me how you can help me, what are the things that you can do to help. When I tried to send you off by saying thank you for your offer and to go and that I would manage, you told me in a very stern tone that I should listen to you and take your help. You reminded me that I've a baby in my tummy and that I should not exert so much. I hugged you tight, showered lots of kisses and asked you to spread the pizza sauce on the pizza base and then spread veggies and then the cheese over it. You did it all so promptly and did a pretty good job.

When I think back on such moments, I think that I must have done some really really good deeds in the past and then thank God for giving you as my Betu. And I know that these thank yous will never be enough. You are too precious a baby for me. Love you soooooooo much my jaan.

I'm getting a little impatient

As the D-day for our arrival is getting closer, I'm also getting impatient. I so want to hold you, kiss you, cuddle you, see you smile and of course cry too :D

I had my doc appointment yesterday and got to hear your heartbeat. As always it brought a big smile on my face. You are already in a head down position since past 2+ weeks. I asked the doc about your position and she told me that your back is towards my spine. And that explains all the movements that I feel, the nudges of your elbows and hands, the pushing of your knees and legs.

I weighed 64.5 Kg and my BP was slightly on the lower side at 100/50. However, doc was not very concerned.

Since I was having bad side-effects (loose motions to be precise) on oral iron tablets ingestion I had to undergo iron IV infusion last to last week as my Hemoglobin was dropping in every test. So when it reached 10, the doc asked me to get two shots of 200gm of iron done through IV on two alternate days.

On the second and the last day of the IV We had taken a tour of the labour and delivery room as well as the post delivery room in the hospital. We came out satisfied with the cleanliness as well as the hospitable staff. I just hope and pray that the staff is this nice when we are there and need it :)

My food intake keeps varying day to day. There are days when I'm perpetually hungry and there are days when I don't want to eat at all. Those are the days when I eat just because I've too. I despise garam masala in any food item and also zeera. So most of the food is being cooked in mustard seeds. I prefer south Indian cuisine, Chinese and continental stuff more than regular north Indian food. I still don't like to eat sweet stuff. Actually its not that I don't crave for it at all. Eating sweet stuff makes my taste go real bad and I start feeling nauseated. So I intentionally avoid to eat although I may crave for sweet stuff sometimes. Sometimes I give in to some specific mithai and then have to bear the consequences.

Your bhaiyya these days loves to caress you by way of caressing my big tummy. He will lie next to me and keep caressing for few minutes at a stretch and sometimes kisses too.

From the past week, all the newsletter tells me about your growth is that you are getting plumper. That you are gaining fat under your skin. So I guess all the other body growth is complete now and you just have to gain weight. In hte ultrasound at 32 Weeks and 5 days you had weighed 2.1 Kgs. I guess I can safely presume you to be around 2.2 Kgs or a little more currently which is a decent weight. Your bhaiyya at birth was 2.8 Kgs and measured 51 cms. I'm guessing you would also be around the same measurements at your birth.

I prodded the ultrasound doc a lot to find out about your gender but she just didn't tell me as the rules do not allow them to because of the female foeticide rates. So we have to just wait for you to come out in the world to know your gender. Although we all know its immaterial but I can't lie about my curiosity of wanting to know it beforehand. :)

Grow well my bachha.

(@34 Weeks 3 Days)

Mumma = Time Machine

A conversation between Betu and his Papa.


Betu: Mumma is like "Time machine".
Papa: How come?
Betu: She knows what has happened even when she is not there and she knows what's going to happen too.
Papa: *laughs heartily*

Me: *rolling my eyes*

Google zindabad

Conversation between me and Betu yesterday evening

Betu: Mumma dragonfly to hindi mein kya kahte hain? (What is dragonfly called in Hindi?)
Me: I don't know bachha.
Betu: To google karo na...usme sab mil jaata hai. (Google it. You find everything there.)

Yes, my smartypants :)

You are such a pyaru jaan

You knew your Papa is not there to help you get ready today. You know that Mumma can't do much these days. And you did all your morning chores on your own. You got ready for school on your own.

I could not have asked for a child more adorable than you, my jaan. I feel so blessed. I love you so much,.

No words can describe what the feeling is. No words.