Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Going to be a big brother - 5

The excitement and the wait for your chhotu baby keeps going up and down like waves for you. Like me, you are also getting impatient about babys' arrival and keep asking me why does it take so long for the baby to come out.

In the past month you have been referring to the baby mostly as a girl. As Rakshabandhan was approaching you told me that if the baby is your little sister, I should help her tie Rakhi to you as she would be too small by the time Rakshabandhan comes again next year for her to tie it on your hand on her own.

You wanted to know if the baby will also go to same school as you are going to. And when I affirmed, you went on to tell me that you will take good care of the baby as you will be the big brother. I feel so overwhelmed at your concern about your little baby sibling.

Since you continue to believe that the baby will come out of my navel, as we have not tried to explain you the reality, you try peering through the navel to see inside and take a peek at the baby. And I smile at your innocence. I made you feel baby's hiccups the other day and you started counting them. After a while you suddenly shouted "Bhow Bhow" to imitate a dog barking. Totally surprised, I asked you what was that for. And before you could answer I realised you were trying to use the old age method of getting rid of the hiccups - scare the person who is getting hiccups. And you confirmed my notion but were a little disappointed when the trick didn't work.

Since we usually take us with your for all our doctor appointments, if we go over weekend or your school holiday, you hear everything what doctor is telling us whereas we thought you were totally engrossed in playing on my mobile phone. This became evident when one day your Papa told me about one conversation between you and him. You showed your concern about my low lying placenta and asked your why is it important for placenta to move up. So your Papa explained to you as best he could without going too much into medical details. I guess you understood. So later in the day when you were snuggling with me, you told the baby to kick it and move the placenta up. I get so awed at such a mix of innocence and maturity. I love you my jaan.

Although you don't talk about it often but I can see in some corner of your mind there is angst of being away from me when I stay in hospital after giving birth to the baby. And you either keep asking me the same question as to how many days will I be in the hospital or ask me to confirm if I will be in the hospital for 2 days as I had told you long back. Since you have stayed away from me many a times on your own will lately, I have a feeling its just a temporary anxiety. You will do just fine when the time comes.

Your caring attitude towards me continues and sometimes I feel its growing as the time for the baby's arrival is nearing. Other day I had pain in my wisdom tooth. It was a little late at night and your Papa was already asleep while we both were up reading a book together. You started to massage my jaw from outside to make the pain go away and had a worried look on your face. You kept asking me if you should wake up Papa. But I stopped you from doing so as I had already taken a clove and was hoping for it to relieve the pain soon which it did. However, till the 10-15 min the pain was there, you kept insisting that we should wake up Papa looking at me in so much pain and kept sitting next to me massaging my jaw. What do I say about this love and concern of yours my jaan? Words will never be able to do justice to it. Not even 1%.

And two days ago, on Sunday, I told you I would make pizza at home and you were so excited. And at the same time you told me strictly that I should not over strain myself and take help from Papa. When I told you that Papa has exams coming over and he needs to study and that I will manage on my own, you promptly offered to help me. I gave lots of kisses to you for your thoughts and left it at that. I really didn't think you would remember to help later. But you did. Around 7 PM when you came to the kitchen and saw me chopping vegetables for the pizza, you asked me how you can help me, what are the things that you can do to help. When I tried to send you off by saying thank you for your offer and to go and that I would manage, you told me in a very stern tone that I should listen to you and take your help. You reminded me that I've a baby in my tummy and that I should not exert so much. I hugged you tight, showered lots of kisses and asked you to spread the pizza sauce on the pizza base and then spread veggies and then the cheese over it. You did it all so promptly and did a pretty good job.

When I think back on such moments, I think that I must have done some really really good deeds in the past and then thank God for giving you as my Betu. And I know that these thank yous will never be enough. You are too precious a baby for me. Love you soooooooo much my jaan.


  1. I cannot help but Smile :) Hugs and lots of hugs to him.

  2. It is great to see you blogging again. Anirudh will be a very affectionate brother. He is already prepared to make so many adjustments; although from what I have seen of him, I am not surprised :-)