Going to be a big brother - 5

The excitement and the wait for your chhotu baby keeps going up and down like waves for you. Like me, you are also getting impatient about babys' arrival and keep asking me why does it take so long for the baby to come out.

In the past month you have been referring to the baby mostly as a girl. As Rakshabandhan was approaching you told me that if the baby is your little sister, I should help her tie Rakhi to you as she would be too small by the time Rakshabandhan comes again next year for her to tie it on your hand on her own.

You wanted to know if the baby will also go to same school as you are going to. And when I affirmed, you went on to tell me that you will take good care of the baby as you will be the big brother. I feel so overwhelmed at your concern about your little baby sibling.

Since you continue to believe that the baby will come out of my navel, as we have not tried to explain you the reality, you try peering through the navel to see inside and take a peek at the baby. And I smile at your innocence. I made you feel baby's hiccups the other day and you started counting them. After a while you suddenly shouted "Bhow Bhow" to imitate a dog barking. Totally surprised, I asked you what was that for. And before you could answer I realised you were trying to use the old age method of getting rid of the hiccups - scare the person who is getting hiccups. And you confirmed my notion but were a little disappointed when the trick didn't work.

Since we usually take us with your for all our doctor appointments, if we go over weekend or your school holiday, you hear everything what doctor is telling us whereas we thought you were totally engrossed in playing on my mobile phone. This became evident when one day your Papa told me about one conversation between you and him. You showed your concern about my low lying placenta and asked your why is it important for placenta to move up. So your Papa explained to you as best he could without going too much into medical details. I guess you understood. So later in the day when you were snuggling with me, you told the baby to kick it and move the placenta up. I get so awed at such a mix of innocence and maturity. I love you my jaan.

Although you don't talk about it often but I can see in some corner of your mind there is angst of being away from me when I stay in hospital after giving birth to the baby. And you either keep asking me the same question as to how many days will I be in the hospital or ask me to confirm if I will be in the hospital for 2 days as I had told you long back. Since you have stayed away from me many a times on your own will lately, I have a feeling its just a temporary anxiety. You will do just fine when the time comes.

Your caring attitude towards me continues and sometimes I feel its growing as the time for the baby's arrival is nearing. Other day I had pain in my wisdom tooth. It was a little late at night and your Papa was already asleep while we both were up reading a book together. You started to massage my jaw from outside to make the pain go away and had a worried look on your face. You kept asking me if you should wake up Papa. But I stopped you from doing so as I had already taken a clove and was hoping for it to relieve the pain soon which it did. However, till the 10-15 min the pain was there, you kept insisting that we should wake up Papa looking at me in so much pain and kept sitting next to me massaging my jaw. What do I say about this love and concern of yours my jaan? Words will never be able to do justice to it. Not even 1%.

And two days ago, on Sunday, I told you I would make pizza at home and you were so excited. And at the same time you told me strictly that I should not over strain myself and take help from Papa. When I told you that Papa has exams coming over and he needs to study and that I will manage on my own, you promptly offered to help me. I gave lots of kisses to you for your thoughts and left it at that. I really didn't think you would remember to help later. But you did. Around 7 PM when you came to the kitchen and saw me chopping vegetables for the pizza, you asked me how you can help me, what are the things that you can do to help. When I tried to send you off by saying thank you for your offer and to go and that I would manage, you told me in a very stern tone that I should listen to you and take your help. You reminded me that I've a baby in my tummy and that I should not exert so much. I hugged you tight, showered lots of kisses and asked you to spread the pizza sauce on the pizza base and then spread veggies and then the cheese over it. You did it all so promptly and did a pretty good job.

When I think back on such moments, I think that I must have done some really really good deeds in the past and then thank God for giving you as my Betu. And I know that these thank yous will never be enough. You are too precious a baby for me. Love you soooooooo much my jaan.

Going to be a big brother - 4

Little less than 3 months and you will be a big brother. And you have been waiting so eagerly for October to come.

I know I've said this million of times before and I say it again - You are such a sweetheart. The way you care for me, the way you talk to me..its just so touching and heartwarming.

You help me in cleaning the dining table after every meal. You take every one's plates and put them in the sink. You ensure no one disturbs me when I'm sleeping. You will talk in whispers with your papa unknowing of the fact that I can still hear you :)

There are days when you really act like a granny to me telling me what to do and what not to do. Other day I was talking to your papa about post baby stuff and in a very serious tone you told me to not get too exited about the baby. A little perplexed when I asked you why you said so, you told me earnestly that when the baby comes out it will be very painful and I would cry a lot. When I laughed hearing that you again remarked  that this is not a joke and I will realise when the baby comes out.

I just hugged you tight my jaan. I love you so much.

The "sleeping-in-your-own-bed" rendezvous has been going good. You sleep in it throughout however you want me close enough to be able to touch me. So for this purpose, we have put your bed at the foot of ours and I sleep with my head next to your bed. Its working good and I'm very proud of you. I realise its not easy for you to suddenly start sleeping separately when you had been sleeping snuggled with me for past 7 years.

You get amazed at the increasing size of my belly and ask in wonder how much more bigger is it going to get. And you roll your eyes when I show you approximately how big I will get. :)

You have already started making plans for me to lose weight once the baby comes out. And the plan is to play basketball with you and your papa and also to play football with you. And to start back my morning walks. I'm sure with such a strict health coach I will definitely lose this pregnancy weight soon.

You keep dangling between whether you want a brother or a sister but mostly you are inclined towards a brother. Your sole reason for wanting a brother is that you feel you will not be able to rough play with your sister. You will have to be gentle with her. You have even thought of the name for the baby in case its a boy and the name is "Arjun". When I asked you for name if its a girl, you told me that I may go ahead and decide that. Thanks for the permission baby :)

I love you my jaan.

Going to be a big brother - 3

You will be one adorable, caring and a very responsible big brother is what I am so sure of already.

We started putting a separate bed in our room and trying to get you sleep on it. You had your inhibitions and were fussy about it moving now. You were insistent that you will sleep on it once the baby arrives. However, we wanted you to start now. So you started sleeping there, on your separate bed but would be cross with us. And invariably in the early hours (around 2-3 AM) you would hop on to our bed and snuggle with me.

I'm OK with it as at least you have started sleeping in your own bed. We still have 4 months to go and am sure you will be comfy with your own bed by then. I've promised you your favourite character bedspread and your papa has promised you a toy of your choice once you completely move to your bed for 1 month.

You really enjoy feeling the baby's movements as they are quite strong now. And I love to see your wide eyed amused expression as you feel each kick and move. You sing rhymes and songs to make the baby sleep. You sing them so cutely like we usually do when talking to a small baby/kid and you keep giving kisses on my tummy.

Since the past week your Dadi-Dadu are visiting and your Anamika bua and your cousins also came over to stay with us for couple of days as summer holidays are on. It would touch me so much how you would get angry when you would see me moving around too much doing or doing house chores. You would ensure I either sit or go and lie down immediately.

You asked me yesterday if I can make burgers for you the coming weekend if I'm not too tired and feeling fine. Bachku..I really don't know how to thank God for giving such a lovely, adorable and pyaru bachha like you to me. I must have done some really really great deeds in my previous birth to have you as my son.

Its not that we don't get angry at each other. So many times we both sulk at each other. But then we both cannot stay apart or angry with each other for too long.

I once told you that you will always be my chhotu paaru baby however old you get. And you promptly said, "Nahi..October se main bada baby ho jayunga." (October onwards I will become big baby). I smiled and said but you will still remain a baby to which you nodded and cuddled with me tightly.

You are about 11 inches long

You are 22 weeks today! I almost forgot the count :)

Today a very cute thing happened in the morning. While enjoying nice cool breeze in our living room with your bhaiyya cuddling next to me,  your bhaiyya asked me if you are awake. When I told him no, he started to talk to you wishing you a good morning and asking you to wake up as its morning now. He said "Wake up baby. Subah ho gayee...ab aap uth jayo..." and he said it couple of times in different ways and suddenly you kicked. You actually woke up!! :)

When I told this to your bhaiyya, he was very happy. He gave you a good morning kiss and did "gooji...gooji"  (the sound he makes for tickling) to you. I had to make him stop as I was very ticklish. Then he continued his conversations with you and you responded again.I love this bond developing between you two already. And I hope it stays as amicable even when you both are together :)

The weekly newsletter tells me that you are about 11 inches long and almost 1 pound. Your lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and tiny tooth buds are developing beneath your gums. Your eyes have formed, but the irises still lack pigment. It also tell me that if I could see inside your womb, I'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that cover your body and the deep wrinkles on the skin, which you'll sport until you add a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside your belly, your pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.

Grow up nice and healthy my shona!

(@22 Weeks)

You are the size of a banana!

Hi Shona.

You have become very active lately and I can feel really strong movements quite a number of times during the day. Your Papa also finally felt you yesterday although your movements were little soft that time. But in the evening when your Bhaiyya felt you, you were kicking really hard. Your bhaiyyas' eyes were wide with amazement as he felt you.

Whenever I tell your bhaiyya that he is my "pyara sa, ladloo sa bachha" he will caress you (by caressing my tummy) and say "Aur yeh mera pyaara sa, ladloo sa baby". He continues to shower you with kisses.

Last week he went with his Papa to watch Kungu Fu Panda 2 and the reason he gave for not taking me along is that "Baby darr jayega" as there will be some fighting and scary animals in the movie. :)

We saw you on 27th May when you had turned 19 weeks. You had your right hand on your head as if you are deep in thought. It is such a pleasing sight to see you moving around and to basically just see you growing well. And the sound of your heart beating is the sweetest sound for my ears.

During the ultrasound, when the doctor was showing your body parts and body organs to us, she told us that you had just passed urine as few seconds ago your bladder was full. Your bhaiyya had such a laugh and he had so many questions thereafter about the peeing and pooping of babies inside the tummy. I told your Bhaiyya how he as a baby had swallowed meconium and he made such a face totally disgusted by the thought of it. :)

The newsletter tells me that you are about 10" tall from head to toe and weight about 300 gm. You have started peeing and producing meconium (a black sticky by product of digestion). The hair on your scalp has started sprouting. Also, your legs and arms in proportion with the rest of the body now.

Your papa continues to take very good care of me. He doesn't let me do anything in the house and is constantly feeding me some fruit or juice and thus keeping me on a healthy regime of food as well. he is pampering me so much that I wonder if I will be able to get back to the routine once you are born or will I continue to be as lazy as I'm these days :)

(@20 Weeks 3 Days)

Going to be a big brother - 2

Hi bachha.

You have been very excited once I shared the news of having a baby in the house soon. You have so many questions to ask and are so concerned about me and my health.

Your papa was not sure if we should take you to our first ultrasound as at 6 weeks the baby looks like just a blob. He thought you might feel the baby would look like a baby even at this stage and might be a little disturbed seeing that its nothing like how you see the full grown babies. But I was somehow insistent and thought that you will understand. Before the ultrasound I had told you that we will not be able to make out anything. And asked you if you still want to go. You said a definite yes. After the ultrasound when we asked you about your reaction you didn't have anything specific to say. But we could see you were happy to be part of it all.

Many a times you started getting ready on your own saying how will you be a big boy unless you start doing things yourself. I can see that you are already imagining yourself in the shoes of a big brother. You understand that there may be a lot of things you will need to do on your own as mumma will be busy with the small baby. When did you mature up so much my pyaru?

Every night at bedtime, instead of hearing the usual stories, you want to hear baby stories. Since I am unable to think of baby stories till the baby arrives, I tell you what you used to do when you were a baby yourself. It excites you and you keep asking me if shona baby will also do the same things as you did. :)

You pick a random age month and ask me what you used to do that age. For e.g. you will ask me what I used to do when I was 8 months old or 1 year 3 months old, so on and so forth. There are some things I remember off hand for others I've to really think hard.

Your biggest concern initially was and I have a feeling it still is, is how will you stay without me when I have to go the hospital to deliver the baby. You ask me again and again how many days will you have to sleep without me. And I can see a sadness on your face when I say maybe 3-4 days. I can understand your concern but at the same time I'm sure you will manage fine. You are already my big bachha.

Love you meetha!

Going to be a big brother - 1

Hi Meethu, my jaan.

Since last year you have been asking us for a baby again and again. And one day I told you that we will have a baby after you turn 7 years. Later I realised I did a mistake there as you started to announce to the world about it and everyone started to look at me expectantly if I have some news to share whereas I had none.

So two-three months before your birthday you started prodding me how many days after your birthday will we have a baby in the house. And I had to talk to you in detail and explain a lot to let you know that we do not know. You were not happy. In fact you were very angry.

And soon after we realised I was pregnant. Since it was very initial phase we didn't tell you thinking you will be so excited that you will tell the whole world whereas we wanted to wait for at least one month to go by before we share with people other than close relatives. My physical play activities with you were intentionally reduced quite a bit. You were not liking it. We would just say Mumma is not well.

And then one day you got really really angry at me telling me I don't play with you at all these days. And if I'm so unwell why don't I go to a doctor and get medicines. I tried to cajole you, distract you but you would hear nothing of it. And then I told you. It was on Feb 27, 2011. I still remember the expression you had on your face. Although for a few seconds only. Because soon you got back into your angry mode and said that I was lying to you to make you feel happy. It took me good 5 min to convince you it was true. That you were going to be a big brother.

And then your whole mood changed. You were happy in a very different way. You wanted to know when did we do the baby making activity :) And why didn't we tell you when we did. I had no answers for that then but am sure when you grow up you will understand yourself.

You started giving me instructions on the dos and donts. I should sit softly. I should not stand. I should not tell office people as everyone will then come and talk to me and that will make me tired. So on and so forth. I was quite surprised as I didn't know where you learnt all this from.

That day you must have kissed my tummy at least 50 times. And then made it a routine to kiss my tummy or rather kiss the baby every morning and greet the baby saying "Good Morning".